Adultery Is Making Headlines, But Why Do Spouses Cheat And How Can You Protect Your Relationship?

     Think of it as Facebook for adulterers: Ashley Madison, the recently-hacked infidelity website that encourages married people to cheat.     Among the millions of accounts revealed, it's tough to know how many were real and how many affairs were ignited.  But, it does bring to light one simple truth about cheating: we publicly condemn it, but privately do it.
 
   Relationship expert Joe Bavonese says, "There is inherent contradiction:  we all have this need for security and to get married, feel loved, be with one person the rest of our life.  But there's a part of us that wants spontaneity, adventure, romance and playfulness and all the things we feel when we fall in love."
 
   Bavonese says never has it been easier to cheat, thanks to the one thing that makes covert communication so easy - your cell phone.  He says, "Any form of infidelity, whether it's emotional or physical, often starts with texting."
 
  One woman says, "There's an app where you can put all your messages and lock them in a private box so no one can see them.  So, yes, a cell phone is a way for you to cheat on spouse or significant other."
 
   Texting creates the emotional bond can fuel a desire for physical contact.  According to the "Love Doctor" , Terri Orbuch, many simply feel they won't get caught. About 20 percent of women and 32 percent of men admit to cheating.
 
 Affairs happen in even good marriages, so how do you protect yours?  Don't get stuck in the roommate rut, like a lot of couples do.  
 
"They get into a deadening, boring routine," says Bavonese. "Going to work taking, care of kids, crashing and falling asleep. And the relationship doesn't get as much attention.
 
Make time for romance - make your marriage exciting.
 
Communicate - talk about your future, your day, and your concerns.
 
Tune into each other's love language - in other words, find out what your mate needs.
 
"A lot of men will say I mowed the lawn and fixed the light bulb to say I love you," Bavonese says. "But maybe your wife needs a card that says I love you."
 
And if you're worried that your spouse is stepping out, Bavonese says, ask this question: "Honey can I see your phone right now? That's all you've got to do."
 
If you partner balks, it may be time to sit down for a talk.  Couples can heal after infidelity, but it may take time, commitment and professional counseling to repair your relationship.
 
  
 

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